Turn Fear Into Faith
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When I think about fear, I wonder how to face it and when it will come for me. I would often ask myself: "What am I so afraid of?" There are many answers to this question of being afraid - or at least there were in previous years. In recent years when my fears got the best of me, things like self-doubt, low self-esteem and sadness settled into my daily life and routine. I was given no choice but to turn this around, keep going and rely on faith. I have two children, family and friends and a career to maintain. I could not let this fear of losing myself to everything and everyone else get the best of me so I pressed on by telling myself "I have to get better and do better." And, I did!
The main thing I was fearful of was not being enough. Enough of a good person, available enough, good enough, strong enough or even a good writer. We are all at different places in our lives and the main thing I had to do was to stop comparing my journey with the journey of other people. There will be someone who writes a better blog post, a more in depth book or makes the ultimate network connection. Focus on your journey and not the fear of the path to get there.
I do not like failure and this is what fear feels like to me - failure. In order for me to get through my fears, I had to share with others in hopes of helping them also. I went back to my roots of faith and put a positive spin on fear and came up with my definition of fear and wouldn't you know it, faith is the first word: Faith, Ease, Assurance, Reliance.
Throughout this blog and in my book, A Life With A View, I talk about faith in great detail as it is the foundation of how I began writing. The more I would write and focus on faith to carry me through the good and the not so good times, the less I feared not being good enough or strong enough to be a writer. I keep this phrase near and dear and very close to me as I go about my day: I now have the Faith to conquer challenges with Ease and I am Assured that my Reliance on the things that I value will carry me through.
Is fear holding you back from moving forward or making a decision that will change your life? Start with faith; it has so many meanings and find out what your faith looks like and what resonates with you. Remember, your journey is yours and belongs to you. Go easy. Take your time. Celebrate your progress no matter how large or small.
Share in the comments below how you tackle and face fear and what you have overcome. Let's talk about ways to push past fear. Focus on the good things, the positive outcomes and the path which leads to your faith.
Let Your Light Be Your Shining Moment
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When I looked in the mirror, what did I see? - scared, afraid, dim - yes, dim as in no light surrounding me. I was afraid of what I saw and did not recognize myself. All I could say at the time was: "What do I do right now to fix this?" Could it be fixed was more of the question when it came to my dimmed light - or better yet, my light was completely blown out.
Prayerfully and thankfully this is not the case now. This goes back a few years to 2009 where the roller coaster that I called my life took me on a ride that I would never forget. My father fell ill and passed away in early 2010 and the roller coaster ride that would take me all the way through 2015 with the break-up of my marriage. Those were very tough times back then and you add raising two children and a full-time job in the mix, there you have it - a light dimmed and snuffed out.
Right in the middle of this tough period in my life in 2013, I started writing and A Life With A View was born. I was afraid to put this all on paper but I felt that was the only way I could heal and be the smiling person that I once was before everything came crashing down. So, I began blogging. I would write and write - every chance that I could in between normal life stuff -- I would write. Sharing my story and being grateful that I was still here gave me meaning and purpose. I may not have made it without this and of course faith, prayer and my kids. It was only through the toughest of times where I fought hard to get my light back and remain surrounded by it.
You may be thinking: "This all sounds so easy; you got out of it pretty easily!" Not at all. It was like an iced over uphill battle with high heel shoes with no traction. I couldn't even run in place - I would stand there looking at myself and still fall backwards into the spiral of self-doubt and my dimmed light.
So how did I make it back and become better than ever? It took a lot of hard work and knowing that I am worth it in every way, shape and form. I had to first learn that my light is not to be dimmed and in order for me to shine in my own way, I had to own the things that happened to me, face the past, and embrace my many shining moments. Now, it was not all positive along the way - there were people that doubted me and still do to this day but as they say, I keep it moving. It still takes work for me as I am not the most shiny out there but I do love to write and I shine in my own way. So, that in itself has saved me and allowed my light to shine. Writing heals in many ways.
What about you? What makes your light shine? Never stop doing the things you love even through the storm. If you love writing, continue to write even if you keep those writings in your own personal journal. If you need help, reach out in your own way to other people or just one person. Embrace positivity and take in the things that make you shine. We are individually engineered to be our best and to shine in our own way so let's get to it!
The Practice of Sincere Gratitude
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Along with this week's message of sincere gratitude, I want to encourage you to surround yourself with like-minded, positive people who continue to bring out the best in you. Open up to those around you and speak peacefully and intentionally when on your continuous journey to achieve the things that you hold dear. Be grateful for the gifts that you have and share those gifts and your gratitude with others. When someone sees what you are grateful for, this sparks them to think about and be grateful for what they have also. I used to be very vague in sharing my gratitude with others. Why was I so afraid of being grateful and better yet, why was I afraid to share what I was grateful for?
My reason may sound silly to some but it is very real. I used to think that sharing what I am grateful for would make those things disappear so I would keep it all to myself. I was afraid of sharing the good things and I still am to a certain extent. I think my growth has helped; self-confidence and being sure of what I wanted to do with my life made practicing gratitude much easier. People are struggling in this life and I used to be so afraid to be happy for what I have even through the struggles.
So what helped me get over this fear of sharing my sincere gratitude? I began to help others through my writing and sharing my experiences. Every day is not a good day but sharing with others how I made it through some of the toughest days in my life made me even more grateful for being able to still stand today. I think back to when I first shared that I was going through a divorce and how afraid I was to share this with anyone, even my family. Once I shared what I was going through, so many people were touched by my story and they began to share their stories of hurt, pain and triumph. I said to myself: "I can do this!" I felt deep inside that I had to help people and highlight even through the toughest of times, there are still things to be grateful for even through the pain.
If you feel the same way I do and did about sharing what you are grateful for, start small and write in your journal or share with a small circle of people who can help you. I am a member of several Facebook groups where we push and help each other to be our best in everything that we do - everything from business to finance, health, blogging and writing and this also includes expressing why we are grateful. You might be saying: "When would have I have the time to do all of this?!" My response would be to invest in yourself; take care of you. Feeding yourself and your soul with good things brings out the very best in you. You never know how sharing what you are grateful for and actually being grateful could help someone else. You may have the very gift that someone is looking for and you could be the link that brings it all together. Keep going and your shining light will inspire others to do the same. Share your gifts and your gratitude!
Your Favorite Blog Posts
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Welcome to 2017! I am so happy you are here to continue this journey with A Life With A View! There are so many plans for the new year and I wanted to start by giving a huge THANK YOU for all of the love and support as I made the transition to the new website. I was constantly praying that nothing got lost - yikes! A writer's worst nightmare whether moving between websites, gathering up journals or pieces of paper, losing our writings gives us the most anxiety.
I have definitely enjoyed hearing from everyone and as promised here on the blog and in my weekly newsletter, (please join the mailing list if you haven't already!) I wanted to do a recap of your favorite blog posts which were also my favorite too!
Most Liked and Favorite Overall Blog Post:
Secrets to Constant Happiness
This post received the most likes and was noted as the favorite blog post of 2016. It made me so happy that this was the case since this post centers on happiness and how to get there with faith, peace, positivity and self-care. I too love this post since it touches on self-care which is so important.
Most Engagement on the Blog
Are You Saying Yes to Yourself?
There was quite a bit of buzz on this blog post. You asked for tips to say yes to yourself without feeling guilty. This year, I plan to upgrade this post with tips to keep you saying yes to yourself.
Most Engagement on Social Media
What Do You Struggle With The Most?
When posting on the blog, I also share on social media: Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook. I received the most comments and engagement on social media for this post.
Most Heartfelt Blog Post
Restore and Rebuild Your Confidence
This post came in as the most heartfelt blog post. This is also near and dear to me as I want to inspire others to be creative and follow their passion. Thank you for your comments on this post here on the blog and on social media.
So there you have it! The most liked and favorite blog post, the most popular on the blog and on social media, and the most heartfelt post. I thank you so much again for reading and commenting on the blog. What is and was your favorite post? Please share in the comments and feel free to comment on other posts and connect with me on social media. Let's gear up for a wonderful 2017!
2016 Year in Review
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What a year, right? 2016 has been something else to say the least. From the highs and the lows, it has been a whirlwind year. This year started out literally with a bang and came roaring in like a lion that could not be tamed.
We lost some pretty significant people in our lives and the lives of people who we saw in the celebrity space. The political climate has changed significantly and it seems like there is more of a divide among people. But, as I always say: things start and end with Faith. We have to believe in the things that keep us going and the things that keep us sustained on a daily basis. Is it your spirituality? Is it your Faith? Or is it getting up in the morning knowing that you have a purpose? Each of these things resonated with me in 2016.
I began 2016 filled with hope and purpose. I said: "I'm going to do things differently this year and take my blog and business very seriously." The feeling that I had when telling myself this overwhelmed me with joy internally. Even though I did not know where to begin or what my next steps were in regards to my blog or business, I knew I wanted to do things differently to reach more people and collaborate on different levels. I was certainly nervous as I am somewhat an introvert/extrovert - weird I know!
As I worked through my fears of stepping out there a little more with my writing and my blog, I ran across several posts on social media that spoke to me and I joined Facebook groups that helped with the process. Goal setting clearly rang true this year as I've stated in other blog posts that my thoughts were everywhere and all over the place - post it notes, journals, pieces of paper - all over. After 3.5 years of blogging, 2016 was my year of taking my writing seriously and I was a sponge - taking writing courses, online webinars, joining social media groups from and with some of the best people in the business of writing and goal setting.
In previous years, I've noted my favorite blog posts, the blog posts that received the most hits and your favorite posts by comments or engagement. This year, I will note those blog posts in a separate post and email communication (Be sure to join my email list!). I wanted to take this 2016 year in review a step further. I am sharing the information that I learned from all of the courses that I took and my word for 2016 was Focus. I was truly focused on getting better and keeping in line with the goals I set for myself. The biggest goal I set for myself was to connect and collaborate with more people as I came from behind the computer a little more while still being engaged with other people.
How I Spent My 2016
In January, I laid out a plan for myself to write more from the heart and really dig deep and pull out my inner-most writings. I first started with the title of the blog post or piece that I wanted to write and expand on.
In February, my Weekend Inspiration on the old blog kicked into high gear with a weekly dose of inspiration to get you through the weekend.
In March, I began having thoughts about making a change to the way I share my blog posts and content. You see, I was shy about sharing my writings and pretty much kept them hidden in my old blog space. I made a change to my Blogger template at that time thinking that would force me to do better. It did for a little while...
In April, I was itching to collaborate with others who blog and have a business and, I wanted to come out of my shell a bit. I was already receiving emails and newsletters from three of my favorite bloggers. In one of the emails, the opportunity was offered to join a Facebook group which helps people set goals and stick with them. I knew I was in need of "something" and what that something was, I had no idea. Coming out of my shell and coming from behind the keyboard was very scary at first. I started thinking: "How could I get myself out there slowly but surely?" Was establishing a brand the answer? One day in one of the Facebook groups I joined, the question of "What do you need help with?" was put out there and I jumped at the chance to ask for my brand for A Life With A View to be established. I needed templates and a signature for A Life With A View so that people could find me and I could also find others who share the same or similar interests in writing, blogging and collaborating. And, with that - wallah!! I met Bee Fells Creative who has been so instrumental in bringing my brand to life.
In May, I started feeling comfortable joining larger Facebook groups where authors, bloggers and writers collaborate. One of the groups that I joined, I met a content marketing strategist and I began coaching sessions with her which lasted from June until the early Fall 2016 time frame. This was life and business changing for me. It really became clear during that time that I had some work to do if I wanted to be more than just typing up a blog post and telling my friends about it. I was given homework and not just your typical assignment. I researched social media, consistency, website platforms - you name it, I was all over it since I wanted to take my vision for my blog to the next level.
In June, as a writer who blogs - I participated in several webinars geared to writers who blog. I would say these were more of master classes where we took actionable steps while in the course or online to make our writing more authentic and more intentional. With words, phrases, things that I had in my journal, I really took the time to dig deep into my writing and make my writing stand out when I would read and re-read what I wrote.
In July, half-way through the year (and what a year it was!) - I continued to take courses, participate in online Facebook groups and think about the direction of A Life With A View. What did I want to do? I was still struggling a bit with being visible and my content strategist coach gave me a real pep talk. When it got real, I got to work and started thinking about my next move...
In August, it was clear that I needed to put into practice all that I've learned over the first 8 months of this year. It was time to deliver! I wrote up a strategy to move forward and I realized that I had "stuff" scattered all over the place. Stuff = blog content, journal input and output, website stuff; you name it - it was everywhere. I took a chance after all of the coaching, webinars and classes to ask that a central website be designed for me so I could reach more people. This leap of faith put me on center stage! After all that I learned, I knew it was time and faith was the number one thing to get me there along with peace, positivity and self-care. I even wrote a blog post about it and you can find it here.
In September, I spent time preparing for the new website launch by cleaning up my old blog site and working to become consistently named across social media. What a task this was! I was "mslynda_" on one site, "FIRE" on another site and "alifewithaview" on other sites. It was something else. This was another good tip from my coach who told me that I should be easy to find and my content will be also. So, I went about changing my name and reference to A Life With A View on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest and Google+ and just like that, I was easy to find!
In October, my vision came to life. My new website was ready and A Life With A View is out there for the world to see. I took the time and thanked the people who gave me the courage to make this happen and I could not have done it without their encouragement, coaching, branding and technical assistance.
In November, it really became clear that I was now ready to publish my second book. This is something I was thinking about for all of 2016 but just never got around to taking the steps to make it happen. And again, in one of my Facebook groups, a young lady was offering her services to help her followers write 15,000 words in 30 days (500 words a day). This was for National Writer's Month which I did not know that November is National Writer's Month. I pulled together what I had for the second book (which I hadn't touched in almost a year) and I started writing. Amazingly, I finished with just over 15,000 words while also participating in another writing challenge sponsored by a blogger who I truly admire. This really pushed me forward and I started thinking about the goals for 2017 and what I wanted to do. I purchased two journals to get me set up and began thinking about my vision. I know that I want to inspire others to do the same - following their dreams and creative passion. With this, I started my own Facebook group - Inspiring Creative Passion.
In December, oh December - the busiest month of all! I saw my following on social media grow by leaps and bounds and it really became clear what I wanted to do for 2017 and beyond. I hope to continue inspiring people to follow their dreams and tap into their creative passion of writing, blogging, becoming and author - whatever ignites their passion. I worked to lay out my vision for 2017 and also write in my journals to gain clarity of where I wanted to be in my life. The one theme that continues to ring true is that I want to help people as I have been helped and how I've helped myself; I want to share what I've learned along this journey.
I am so excited to hear from you! Please share how you spent 2016 and I hope you found this post inspiring and also uplifting. Happy New Year to you and your family and I look forward to seeing you in the new year. Thank you for reading!
If you know someone that could use this post, please share!
Your Self-Discovery, Your Way
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I am enjoying blogging so much these days! As a relatively new blogger who writes, I love sharing with you my thoughts, writings, perspectives and opinions on the topics near and dear to my heart. One of the first things that I did over 3 years ago was come up with a theme and a vision. I had no idea this blog would grow into what it is today - it's my self-discovery and each subject and title of every blog post comes from the heart.
Some of you may remember my very first blog over on Blogger called FIRE (Faith In Renewing Each Other). I still make references to FIRE throughout my blog posts here on A Life With A View, in conversations and in email. I had the fire in me to start my blog and I kept writing and writing. It was like my pilot light was lit and my fingers were on fire and I could not stop writing. Thoughts, feelings and writing to heal came naturally to me. The old blog is still up and I can't let it go just yet. You can find the old blog here. Although I am not still posting on the site, I still reference my content and I think about how I was feeling when I wrote those posts.
Since the move over to A Life With A View, I've refreshed a lot of the content from FIRE and still have a ways to go. In thinking about what I wanted to write today, I knew I wanted to focus on self-discovery, my way. This whole process has been a self-discovery all in itself and the growth that I've experienced has been well worth the journey.
So what was my vision? What did my self-discovery look like? Having a blog was one thing but what did I want to accomplish? The first thing was finding my purpose and second, helping others do the same through my writing and my book. Coming up with a theme found here which centers around inspiration and then the vision statement, my writing began to flow like a faucet and has not stopped since. My vision for this blog is and continues to be:
The vision for this blog began as a desire to help and encourage people to embrace and build upon strengths and capture what ignites their creative passion.
The main goal of blogging for me has been my own self-discovery; finding out who I am and feeling confident that other people share my same thoughts and experiences. Opening up about the things near and dear to me has helped me through some tough times. Additionally, I have met some of the most amazing people through collaboration efforts, in person and on social media. This has definitely helped with my discovery as I realized that so many people are in different phases of their self-discovery and they are taking various roads to get there.
I admit, I did not do this alone. I looked for self-discovery courses, classes and ways to boost me up while on this journey. Finding my purpose, writing and self-care became my priority. So what did I do? I reached out to other bloggers who I admired and participated in self-discovery e-courses, Twitter chats and Webinars. Many of these avenues provided daily writing prompts in addition to checklists, workbooks and e-books.
One of the first self-discovery writing journeys that I participated in was #30Layers30Days by GG Renee, Founder of All The Many Layers. There were daily prompts which really made me really dig deep and pull out what was on my heart. You can find those posts here on the old blog and they are still relevant today and I reference the prompts and my response often throughout this blog. When visiting the old blog, refer to November 2015 and you will see each day and the response to the prompts.
While on the journey to self-discovery, I was able to let go of fear little by little. What was I so fearful of? It was being afraid to share what I was going through at the time and then it clicked - I am writing to heal. How was I going to help others if I could not help myself? This all goes back to why and how A Life With A View was born. The vision did not come easy at first. About a year ago, I realized that I wanted A Life With A View to be the portal for the book, the blog and be able to grow with me and my readers.
So there it is...my self-discovery. What is your self-discovery? How are you making your journey your own? I would love to hear your story and if you are just getting started, all the better!
Keep Going Even If The Outlook Is Dim
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As I sat down to write this post the day after Thanksgiving 2016, I was reflecting on "How did I get here?" You may ask "Get where?" And I would say to this peaceful place in my heart, mind and spirit. It was and is a long road and but also very possible and attainable.
Right before my divorce, I was an emotional mess. With two children who are now 15 and 8, I thought I had the perfect life. Things were revealed, came out of dark places, family members passed on; you name it, it happened. At the time, I did not realize that I was being prepared for a purpose and an opportunity to grow, to continue to love others despite my own circumstances and to get to a place of peace that I had not seen in years. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle with the emotional side of the divorce; although I've moved on from the pain and guilt that it caused me. On top of that, the passing of my father and the lack self-confidence all reared their ugly heads at the same time but I had to find a way to keep going, to keep pushing and moving forward.
One day about three years ago when I was sitting home, I received an email about a book club at my church and the proposed book that we were going to read. I thought: "I can't take on another book, club, book club or anything at this point." After reading the email, I thought about it some more since I had time that evening to really sit and reflect on my situation a bit. The kids were with my ex-husband for the weekend and this was the first time that I did not have anything planned for the day. I look back on this time now and think that was meant to be as I needed the time to rest and reflect and also get rid of some bottled up anger and sadness.
Ironically, the suggested book reading for our upcoming book club at church was Prepared for a Purpose about a woman named Antoinette Tuff who saved an Atlanta, Georgia elementary school under siege by a lone gunman.
So, how did I keep going when I think I couldn't? Here are the steps that I took and roughly in this order:
Prayer: This lead me closer to God
Embracing my situation: Acknowledging the hurt and pain
Finding my faith and spirituality
Challenging myself to remain confident: Continuously working on myself building my self-confidence
Continued self-discovery: Being comfortable in my own skin; comfortable with silence
Reading more books: Broadening my horizons through self-study and gaining knowledge
Starting this blog in July 2013
Helping others while helping myself: Sharing the knowledge I've gained by helping others through their challenges
Additionally, there are 6 things I do on a daily and regular basis and when I think I can't keep going, I stop and reflect on these:
Take care of myself: Spiritually, Physically, Emotionally
Take baby steps: Slowing down; no need to rush through life
Tackling a small or large goal: Restores confidence and renews self-esteem
Challenge myself to achieve new goals: Think of and write down goals that I would like to accomplish; 1 or 2 a day is sufficient
Track accomplishments: Take notes and highlight successes
Stay informed: Keep up on what is happening through reading, self-study and being observant
When I felt I couldn't keep going, I reflected on the above and kept pressing on. I feel like I have been put where I am today as I have been Prepared for a Purpose and I am embracing the new adventures in life and would love to help others do the same.
Each comment and every email that I receive, I read and comment with a humble heart. I am so thankful to have helped even one person let alone many. I never knew or thought this was my purpose a few years ago and I have since discovered that this is what A Life With A View is all about.
Leave a comment on this post or connect with me here on the blog by joining the discussion. I would love to hear how you keep going and let me know what else you would like to see from A Life With A View.
What Season Are You In?
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As we are now in the middle of the holiday season, the biggest holiday season of the year - how much time are we taking to think about the season we are in? With all of the hustle and bustle around this time of the year, it is easy to get caught up in running around while still working to maintain our every day life and take some time for ourselves.
Some of us find ourselves in the season of giving - meaning, you may have a family member in need, a child, a spouse, significant other. They may need you right now and the gifts you have. Perhaps you have the gift of being organized and getting things done. That in itself is a gift for people who are in need of help. The last thing that a person in need should worry about is if things are being taken care of in a timely fashion whether it is a bill that needs to be paid, phone calls, or food shopping.
Maybe you are in the season of receiving - meaning, you have a need and you have to rely on other people to do things for you. A recent life or status change may put you in the season of receiving. Please know that this is ok - I was a person that thought that this wasn't ok - to be in receiving mode. This left me tired, worn out and angry at times. I had to learn (and it took a while) that if someone is offering to do something for you and you need the help; accept it, embrace it. In life we go through several seasons and while you may be in the season of receiving in one sense, you could be in the season of giving also.
I feel like I've been through all of the seasons a few times over - especially giving and receiving. Right now, I am in the season of empowering people to embrace and follow their dreams and giving them the tools to make this happen. Since I love writing and sharing my writings with others, researching tools and resources has really helped me to help others. I have enjoyed this since I can walk right alongside people who are trying to also reach their goals.
A recent post on the blog talked about collaboration, tools, resources and connections and the steps to take to get you to where you want to be. Not sure where to start? Let me know and I am happy to help you. I'm sure I can also help you find someone or a resource that you feel comfortable with to get started. Remember to make your voice heard and embrace the season that you are in. As a good friend always says to me, we all have our turn, our season and let's be our best on the journey that is ahead of us.
Like this post? Leave a comment and let me know. Want to hear or see more from the blog? I'd love to hear that too.
Keep going. Continue your journey.
Lynda
What Is Your "Make-Up"?
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What is your make-up? This could be a loaded question with a lot of meaning. What do you think of when someone asks this question? Make-up could be physical, to cover imperfections; something internal to you or it could be as simple as: What makes you who you are? Some days there isn't enough make-up in the world to cover up the things that we hide or try to run from.
Photo credit: @jseephotography01: Instagram, SquareSpace
