Say Yes to Yourself

We all know the saying: "If you say yes to someone else, you say no to yourself". Is this always true? I have heard this many times and I have even experienced it also. How many times do you say yes to someone before you begin saying "yes" to yourself? There is no set limit but there are triggers that may make you stop and think:

• Do you stop doing the things that are important to you to help someone else? You can still help someone and keep in mind the things that inspire you and keep you going. Be mindful of what is important to you and set boundaries to give yourself enough time for self-care so you can say yes to you, and still be supportive of others.

• Are you left with an empty feeling when you help someone? If you are, then you may want to seek help and guidance in this area from a friend, colleague or family member. It is so easy to get bogged down when you have given too much of yourself and you just feel spent.

• Do you *always* say "yes" in relationships? Whether these relationships are friendships, romantic, colleagues - how do you respond when something is asked of you? Stop and think about this for a moment - and please do not feel guilty about saying no. What are you getting out of the relationship when you say yes to doing something or providing a service to someone? I remember going places where I really did not want to go to please someone else. I sat there and smiled and felt terrible on the inside. I was tired, drained, worn out and still felt obligated to go. What helped me again was to set boundaries and spread out some of my activities. This way I was at my best when saying yes.

It took me years to realize that saying yes to myself was and is ok. I certainly do not want you to take that long! Taking my spirituality seriously has helped me say yes to myself. I am a lot calmer, less anxious and I feel less guilty. I looked at the benefits of moving my needs and wants from the back burner to the front of the line. Those benefits include having more clarity when I am up against situations that may be uncomfortable to me. I constantly practice self-care and work very hard to have a balance. This means setting specific days or times for tasks and this also allows for me to be less forgetful.

Another thing I learned during this quest of saying yes to myself; people respect you more when you love and respect yourself and identify the things that are important in your life. This for me is the big takeaway here. What did you learn from this post? How are you saying yes to yourself? Share in the comments below - I love hearing from you!

Be Well and say Yes to Yourself,

Lynda

Restore and Rebuild Your Confidence

We all get knocked down at times, right? I know I do. Whether it is at work in your professional career, at school, trying something new or resurrecting something old - we could always use a little restoration as we continue to rebuild ourselves on a daily basis. Whew, that was a mouthful! Now let's break this down...

I recently I had a conversation with a few friends who each have manuscripts, post-it notes, pieces of paper, journals, loose leaf paper and they want to write. Sound familiar? This was and still is my story. Is it a confidence thing? Are we afraid to share our writings to the open world? I ask myself these questions all the time and it was refreshing that I wasn't the only one feeling this way.

I crave connections; positive connections where I can learn from people and also help others. Its that certain feeling when helping someone and in this case, I am able to offer a safe place place here on this blog and in my Inspiring Creative Passion group on Facebook. I can tell you that I don't have all the answers when it comes to restoring and rebuilding confidence but it was surely so refreshing when I pitched the idea to my friends to have an intimate space where we could connect and help each other. Whether you want to publish your book, prepare a speech, or discuss a current or future endeavor, a small covenant group may be the place for you. 

I guess I should start by what I'm sharing...Yes! I am working on my second book and I am so nervous. It has been almost 2 years since my first book was published and so much has changed since that time. I've grown, my confidence has grown and at the same time, I've pushed through some very tough times. You never know who you will meet and how you will affect their life in just one single moment. This is why I encourage you to have others around you who may say the same thing you are thinking and one interaction could make a world of difference. In order for me to ask that you encourage others and help them, I had to first do this myself and be the light that others see and welcome others with open arms. Why do I do this? It was done for me and I would not be here today without the wonderful connections that I've made through the years.

Remember, you are still here and you are a work in progress as we all are. Build or rebuild your confidence and share your gifts with the world even if you need someone else to lean on first. If you would like to join the Inspiring Creative Passion Facebook group, please leave a comment below or connect with me here on the blog. The Inspiring Creative Passion Facebook group has the mission of:

A covenant group to help and support each other to follow our dreams. Whether it is writing a book, opening a restaurant or going back to school to hone in on your desired craft, let's get there together and make it happen!

Don't forget to comment below and connect with me here on the blog to join us in the Inspiring Creative Passion Facebook group! I would love to have you.

Be Well and Inspired,

Lynda

Secrets to Constant Happiness

I admit, I had to find my way to my happiness. I hit a hard time in my life where I felt that I was at a crossroads - approaching 40 years old, losing my father in 2010 and my separation and divorce in 2012. I realized that I was covering up the things that made me sad and running from my past. My fears took over and I thought I was the failure since at that time, I thought everything I did was wrong. Little did I know, I was being prepared for the next four years of good things to come.

At first I thought that chasing happiness and running from everything else was going to work. Pretending things were ok when they really weren't was so draining. I even distracted myself by avoiding my problems and attempting to fix other people's problems. That only went so far. Have you ever done that? Yes, I've done that more than my fair share of times and it became hard to keep up. Being there for others and supporting people is great, but you have to first take care of you and survive so that you can help others. In a sense, I was this hybrid form of an independent woman who thought she could do it all when deep down, I know I needed support. I needed time to grieve and definitely needed help when my mouth wouldn't move to ask for it.

So what did I do at this point? I took some much needed alone time and starting writing. Even if it was only 15 minutes a day - I wrote consistently. There were some days when I just could not reach for my notebook or my computer and write - I forced myself and it felt so good after the short or long period of time that I put in to write. I wrote about what made me happy like my kids, family and friends and good coffee!

Did I ever feel stuck? Of course! I had to face those demons that were trying to haunt me but I kept going, kept writing. You know? That is and was to date some of my best writings. Do you find that to be true when you are most down or the most emotional it yields the best response? I sure do. In my search for happiness and sitting home one day surfing the Internet I came across the title to my post. Can you believe that? This right here from the Positivity Blog really helped me: Secrets to Constant Happiness

All seven of those steps spoke to me and I had to share this with you too in case you need that kick to get started. I had to get out of my own way in order to be heard and even writing sometimes was hard. I am still embracing my secrets to constant happiness and this for me starts with faith, followed by peace, positivity and self-care. All of these things are the basis for keeping your happiness on track and pursuing your dreams and feeling comfortable as you move along in your journey.

Do you have any secrets to constant happiness that you want to share? I encourage you to leave a comment below. (I read and respond to every comment) ;-) Remember, pursuing your happiness is also part of your healing. Write it down, say it, speak about it, claim it.

Author Spotlight for A Life With A View

Recently, I had the honor and pleasure of participating in the Author's Spotlight sponsored by Patrice Rivers of the FUSE Movement. I was very honored that Patrice reached out to me on social media and we connected immediately about my blog and book. I was happy to participate in the interview and below, is the recap of the questions and my answers. I hope you enjoy. Also, never miss a blog post or email update, join the discussion today on the the website and blog.

1)      When did your writing career begin?

My writing career began in July 2013 when I started my first blog. I have always wanted to write and I had so much to say after going through my divorce 18 months prior. Writing for me has always been a form of healing and I really kicked my writing into high gear and became serious about my writing voice being heard.

2)      How did you come up with the title of your book?

After about a year of writing on my blog, I knew I wanted to eventually write a book. My blog theme focuses on inspirational topics and many of my blog posts spoke about life and looking ahead to more positive things on the horizon. One day in September 2014 it came to me – A Life With A View. There was a time when I thought that everything I knew in life was very grim. I came up with the title of A Life With A View since I believe that life does have a view and positive view into the future. I used my inspirational topics from the blog and transitioned those topics to the book: Faith, Love, Happiness, Friendship, Honesty, Integrity, Trust, Respect, Openness, and Acceptance.

3)      Where does your inspiration and motivation come from?

My inspiration and motivation come from wanting to do better; be a better person and help others. When I see someone struggling, my very first instinct is to help them. When I lost my father in February 2010 and then going through my divorce 2 years later, I really thought that was it for me as far as life goes. I have two wonderful children who need me and I knew I had to do something to get me out of this slump. In the back of my mind, I knew writing was it and the struggles that I went through inspired and motivated me to keep going and press on to the life that I wanted to live.

4)      What made you want to become an author? What motivated you?

I wanted to become an author to share my experiences with others. Instead of keeping everything that I went through to myself, I said “Why not help someone else who may be going through the same thing?” You never know who you are helping by telling and sharing your story. Also, my readers and followers on social media and on my blog gave me the push to keep going and keep writing.

5)      Are you planning on writing another book anytime soon?

Yes! I am super excited about this since my first book, A Life With A View was released in January 2015 many people have asked me when my second book is being released. This is something that I’ve been thinking about since earlier this year and I wrestled with the second book being a follow-on to the first book. Will A Life With A View be a series? I even wrote a blog post about that some time ago! So yes, the second book is in the works and should be released in early 2017. Hint: This next book has a creative spin to it.

6)      When your readers purchase your book and read it, what message do you want them to receive?

I would like for my readers to take away the message that no matter the situation they are in, find that piece of inspiration that keeps you going. I write about themes and how you can make those themes work for you. For example, I talk about Faith – a lot. Having the Faith to do what you love to do and knowing the outcome will be a positive one. I want my readers to walk away knowing that they can connect with not only me, but others who have walked similar journeys and know that there is a support system for any issue or problem someone might be going through. I don’t have all of the answers but I certainly have connected with some of the most wonderful people and I can definitely help with connecting people to the right resources.

7)      How long does it take you to write a book?

Since I had the idea of using pre-published blog posts for my first book, it only took me about two months to write the first book. When moving the blog posts to the book, I added more context to posts and made the content book friendly and hopefully an easy read.

8)      Do you believe in Authors Supporting other authors?

I definitely believe in this. You never know what you might learn from someone else. Before writing my first book, I connected with a friend who wrote and published her first book. She posted lessons learned from her experience and connected her readers to others like her who did the same thing. The cycle of sharing those experiences began and continues today and I am so grateful for those opportunities and this opportunity as well.

9)      What advice would you give to an inspiring author?

My advice to a new author would be to start with what inspires you to write. If you do that up front, the rest is easy. You probably already have the content. Connect with a friend who has done this before; maybe a colleague or online writing group. Over the past 2 years, the online writing and inspirational groups have really helped me to take my blog and writing forward. Lastly and certainly not least, join a writing group. I would have never known that November is National Novel Writing Month. I found this out on social media and connected with a writing group where we write 500 words per day to our first or next book or novel.

10)   How often do you blog a week?

I blog about twice a week. Since the move to my new website in October 2016, I have been blogging a little more frequently as I work to bring over the content from my old blog site. I love blogging as my thoughts just flow and I feel I can really be myself in my writing.

11)   Any new projects that your readers can expect from you this year or next year?

For this year, I would like to continue with my Weekend Inspiration Newsletter series where the theme is mostly a push to be inspired to do what you love. Whether it is writing a book, standing up a blog or opening a restaurant – Weekend Inspiration gives the prompts to get started and I check in frequently with my readers. For next year, my new book will be released and I hope to do an e-course on how I began my writing career 3 years ago to present.

12)   Who are some of your favorite authors?

I have so many favorites and I like so many book genres from inspiration to science fiction. Some of my favorite authors are Ava DuVernay, John Grisham, James Patterson, Alice Walker and Isabel Wilkerson.

13)   How can your readers connect with you?

My readers can connect with me through my blog right here: http://alifewithaviewblog.net

My website has all of the social media options at the bottom of my site and each of the social media connections are also listed here:

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ALifeWithAViewSeries

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/alifewithaview

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/alifewithaview1

Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+LyndaDMallory

Instagram: http://instagram.com/alifewithaviewblog

Bloglovin'!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

With the blogging community growing by leaps and bounds and with all of the excitement around the blogging world, I have joined Bloglovin'.

On Bloglovin', you can find some of the most talented up-and-coming fashion bloggers, fitness, health, and wellness bloggers along with inspirational bloggers. Happy blog surfing!

The World Needs Your Voice

Make your voice heard! I'm screaming this - mostly to myself as it took me a while to find my voice. Have you ever had that problem? Yeah - I know, me too. I have never been the loudest or the most boisterous person in the room but I have tried to make my presence known by smiling at others and giving off positive energy. Many times in life we must take chances and challenge ourselves to get better at the things we like or don't like in some cases. We must stretch ourselves and never be fearful of what we think we cannot achieve.

I've always known that I have had a lot to say and eventually, I would need to speak up about things when they bothered me and not necessarily wait for when it was comfortable for everyone else. You see, I'm a people pleaser...at least I was until recently. I had to push the envelope within myself and let others know that I also have a voice.

How do you handle making your voice heard? Do you write down what you want to say first and then take on a situation? I've always admired people who were quick on their feet and could say things off the cuff...I used to wish that was me. When I was "wishing that was me", I realized that it is not me and I accept myself for who I am and I will keep going and speak up in my own way; on my own terms. That's not to say that there aren't improvements to be made or, needing to move faster in some areas.

To help with all of this, I created #creativespark which sparked not only my creativity and the creativity in others; it also helped me find my voice around the things that I am most passionate about and inspire others to do the same. You will find those posts here by each word that we explored {Faith, Love, Happiness, Friendship, Honesty, Integrity, Trust, Respect, Openness, Acceptance}.

I hope this helps you find your voice with a bit of a creative twist. We all love a little creativity, right? In whatever you do and explore, make your voice heard and press forward and continue getting better!

Collaboration: You are not alone

You are not alone when it comes to searching for tools and resources to help you along your journey. Whether you are a writer, an artist, fashion designer or physical therapist - you need tools, resources and good connections.

When I began blogging in 2013, I had post-it notes, Word documents, loose leaf paper - you name it, I had it and it was everywhere! It wasn't until late 2014 that I began taking my blog seriously and I quickly realized that I needed help. I wondered how I could be different as a blogger, standout in my writing and what tools and resources I could tap into. I figured there had to be someone that could help, right? That is easier said than done since I was so afraid to ask for help {its that introvert/extrovert thing in me - more on that in a later post}.

First, I had to realize that I was not alone as an aspiring blogger and writer. At that time back in 2014, I was just getting my footing after my divorce and the kids and I were in a good daily routine. I figured I had the time to invest in my dream and I reached out to a blogger who I admired at the time and still admire to this day. I did one simple thing: "ask". I asked for help - a collaboration of sorts where I soaked up all I could about getting started as a blogger. Since writing is my dream and passion, the fear of asking for help subsided once we began to dive in and collaborate on what to do next as a blogger. This is where tools came in...

Second, I asked myself: "What tools should I use? How will I learn them quickly and keep up with how fast my brain wanted to move?" Whoa?! Slow down, Lynda - I had to tell myself that many times! I researched blogging tools such as Blogger and WordPress. I even set up a few failed blogs! Imagine that!! Nothing beats a failure but a try, right? Finally, I settled on a platform which at the time suited me well. I had to push myself and use the tools I could get my hands on and learn new tools to take me forward.

Next, I tapped into resources - not only people but online and social media resources. I connected with like-blogs and websites to see what tools worked for them and I read; read a lot! It was probably more studying than reading most times. :) Social media is not my strong suit and when it became time to stretch myself, social media was it. It still is a bit of struggle with the move to the new website but I am coming along. The key thing here is to connect with others and don't be afraid to ask questions.

Lastly, connections are key when putting yourself out there - whether it is as a blogger, writer, artist, restaurant owner - connections can get you through some pretty tough times. I'll even take it a step further and say networking with others and building your connections space and foundation is the path to a rock solid future.

The key points from this post and knowing that you are not alone when following your dreams:

1. Collaboration: Find a partner, someone you trust and can work with to guide you on your path.

2. Tools: Find a tool that you are comfortable using for your business or venture. Don't be afraid to try new things.

3. Resources: Use your resources. Whether it is other people, online or social media. Ask for help!

4. Connections: Connect with like-minded people who have walked the path that you are now on. Network with others and know that you are not alone.

Send me an email or comment on this post and let me know how you are doing. I'd love to hear about what you are working on.

As one last push to get you started, I joined a Facebook group for women following their dreams and goals - many of them authors, bloggers and writers. This is how I met Bee Fells Creative who created my wonderful image templates and this website. If I never asked for help, I would not be here today: Collaboration, Tools, Resources, Connections.

Road to Renewal

There are several roads to renewal or maybe several paths that we could take on the journey. Renewal could be in many forms as we go through life - whether it is recovery from a bad situation, break-up or the end of a personal or professional era.

Ironically, the most common road to renewal for some is to go into hiding and not share their past or current pain. There's always a way... A way to get better, continue to do better and maintain sanity in uncertain times. I usually start with what inspires me with having faith being number one. This may require you to take time away to renew and decide on what you want to do to move forward with a decision about a career change, new venture, a relationship.

"How do I get started?" You may be asking that very question. I asked the same thing and it came down to taking care of myself; establishing my self-care routine. In case you missed the most recent blog post on the four easy ways to self-care, you will find it here. One additional note is to begin your renewal with what you find useful and insert a little fun in there. We all need fun from time to time. Enjoy and have faith in your decisions. 

Need help getting started? Comment below on what you need help with and if you are already on the road to renewal, share how you were able to get started. Sharing your story may help someone else if they are uncertain about the road ahead.

#creativespark: Respect

I love tapping into my #creativespark. I am so excited to have you along and I am taking in all of the feedback on my very first writing challenge. I hope this has helped you come out with your writing; being creative, being yourself and honing in on your talents. We all have them so let's use them to the fullest! I'd love to get your take on what you feel Respect means to you. I feel it is a gift to show Respect and have it given to you in return. What's your definition?

In case you have not had the chance to purchase my book, stop by The Book right here on this blog and grab your copy today. A Life With A View focuses on inspirational topics with Respect being one of those topics. I'd love to hear from you and in the meantime, please enjoy:

#creativespark: Trust

For me to even begin to think about feeling good about myself, I had to Trust in myself that I could feel good, achieve great things and that I deserved to be happy. I had to Trust the journey and believe that being happy was achievable. My biggest problem: I did not Trust that I was enough - smart enough, pretty enough, good enough. All of those things equaled self-doubt and were all in my mind. The biggest struggle - self-esteem accompanied by self-doubt. The opposite of all of this - is Trust.

I had to Trust that I was going to be ok after losing my father and the break-up of my marriage. Those were tough times a few years ago and I have spent the last several years building myself up; working on my confidence and the Trust that I could do it. During my journey, I found out that I was in my own way - blocking my healing, not Trusting the process.

What do you need to improve on or get out of the way for you to Trust that you can be great? Ok, I'll start: Get out of your own way to be great! Be your own best friend at all times and set your mind to Trust in your self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. For you, start with this:

#creativespark: Integrity

Have you ever felt stuck? Stuck in writing; stuck in creativity - just stuck in life? There was a time when I felt that way - not saying that I still don't feel that way sometimes but it is less and less. Another reason why #creativespark was born to encourage and help people with creativity in writing, art; and life in general. When coming up with the theme for my blog over three years ago, I thought about words and expressions that inspired me. Over the years, I have met and worked with some great writers, speakers, business owners and all kinds of people who have inspired me in some way. They maintained their Integrity in everything they have done and continue to do and I look to them as an example.

While moving over the content from my old blog, I found an image with text that I created. This spoke to me then and it definitely speaks to me now.

#creativespark: Honesty

When thinking about Honesty, I had to be Honest with myself, find myself and remain true to what I wanted to do and the direction my heart was taking me. I fought for a long time against being more open and vulnerable. I realized that I had to be honest and true to myself and tell my story; no matter how painful my story was at one point in my life. I did not want to open up about my marriage failing since I thought it was all my fault. I certainly did not want to tell the story behind it and how I covered up my feelings and tried to paint on a smile just to so that things would not fall apart. Boy was I wrong!

In order for me to move forward, I found that being Honest with myself was the key. If I was feeling hurt - I needed to say it. Sad - I needed to acknowledge it. Feeling out of sorts - I needed to own it and do something. Instead of saying "oh, nothing is wrong" when people asked me "what's wrong?" or "what's your story?" - I began to own it which in turn, gave me so much confidence.

So what is my story? I say with Honesty and confidence: I am a mother of two wonderful children; emotional, faith-driven spiritual person who is sensitive to other people's needs; wears my heart on my sleeve; a Yes girl who is no longer afraid to say No; career-driven friendly woman who loves helping others in career and life and all around lover of fun and laughter. 

We each have a story to tell which defines and motivates us to continue getting better and striving to be our best. Tell your story. Be Honest about it. No matter how bad, good, painful or indifferent - be Honest about your feelings and don't be afraid to embrace being vulnerable. #creativespark