We all know the saying: "If you say yes to someone else, you say no to yourself". Is this always true? I have heard this many times and I have even experienced it also. How many times do you say yes to someone before you begin saying "yes" to yourself? There is no set limit but there are triggers that may make you stop and think:
Do you stop doing the things that are important to you to help someone else? You can still help someone and keep in mind the things that inspire you and keep you going. Be mindful of what is important to you and set boundaries to give yourself enough time for self-care so you can say yes to you, and still be supportive of others.
Are you left with an empty feeling when you help someone? If you are, then you may want to seek help and guidance in this area from a friend, colleague or family member. It is so easy to get bogged down when you have given too much of yourself and you just feel spent.
Do you *always* say "yes" in relationships? Whether these relationships are friendships, romantic, colleagues - how do you respond when something is asked of you? Stop and think about this for a moment - and please do not feel guilty about saying no. What are you getting out of the relationship when you say yes to doing something or providing a service to someone? I remember going places where I really did not want to go to please someone else. I sat there and smiled and felt terrible on the inside. I was tired, drained, worn out and still felt obligated to go. What helped me again was to set boundaries and spread out some of my activities. This way I was at my best when saying yes.
It took me years to realize that saying yes to myself was and is ok. I certainly do not want you to take that long! Taking my spirituality seriously has helped me say yes to myself. I am a lot calmer, less anxious and I feel less guilty. I looked at the benefits of moving my needs and wants from the back burner to the front of the line. Those benefits include having more clarity when I am up against situations that may be uncomfortable to me. I constantly practice self-care and work very hard to have a balance. This means setting specific days or times for tasks and this also allows for me to be less forgetful.
Another thing I learned during this quest of saying yes to myself; people respect you more when you love and respect yourself and identify the things that are important in your life. This for me is the big takeaway here. What did you learn from this post? How are you saying yes to yourself? Share in the comments below - I love hearing from you!
